The weekend started out great. I met David P. on Friday night for a few drinks at P Town, which is a local gay bar. Prior to that I hung out with Diane and Laurie and ventured around town for a bit. Actually, it was a rather strange night in the Burgh on Friday. We dropped one car off at Trader Joe's and when we went back to pick it up there was about 20 police cars surrounding the McDonald's in East Liberty along with helicopters flying over head. I have a feeling that something very bad happened there, maybe a shooting or a robbery. I didn't hear anything big on the news though. It was after that I met David for drinks. We sat and bullshitted for a while at the bar and then went to Shadyside to go out to Spin, another more upscale bar but there was no parking. This is not unusual for Shadyside. David went, I however went home rather than driving around in circles looking for a place to park my large car.
Saturday David (the other David) picked me up and we did a little shopping, lunch, and then headed home and made a great dinner and watched movie and spent some time just snuggling up under a blanket. It was a great stress free Saturday. Sunday involved brunch with David at the Elbow Room which just opened on Walnut Street. Brunch was good until I had one of my dizzy spells. I hate it when they hit out of the blue. I have been feeling pretty good for the last several weeks. I was just eating and felt light headed and a little dizzy and then felt kind of weird for the rest of the day. A little nauseous and just not right. That started the stress. Walt and Tommy called me to see if I wanted to go visit a mutual friend who has been battling stage four cancer. I hitched a ride with them thinking that I would spend a few hours visiting. It was very disturbing to see my friend in such misery! The chemo and radiation treatments have taken its tole but he is still hanging in there. I ran to the store with Jay, my friends partner, just to get him out of the house for a break. We ended up spending almost five hours visiting which was a little more than I expected since I had plans of just going home and cooking dinner and chilling out trying to get rid of my dizzy head. I came home at seven thirty and cooked dinner. Dan was in a zone since he had been cataloging CD's for ten hours straight. I also found out that my gas bill payments have been going to the wrong account number which set Dan off into a mood. As this was discovered, my very bad doxy decided to have an accident (again, for the millionth time) on the carpet. This snowballed into setting Dan off into a REALLY foul mood and didn't do much for mine either since I had to drag the carpet steamer out from the basement (again, for the millionth time) and steam the pee out of the rug.
I called David, just to hear his voice, since it tends to be a voice of reason. I told him how much I appreciated having him in my life. I know that we have our moments and that I stress over spending time and schedule changes, but I truly enjoy our time togeather. I told him thank you for being so calm, sweet, and most of all normal and not into the bars and all of the gay drama! We usually hang out at home and just enjoy being with each other. I REALLY am enjoying it! No drama, no stress, no bar hopping, just time with each other. I am very much at the point in my life where I don't want or need all the added gay drama and stress. I enjoy staying home, which in the past was TOTALLY not like me! I was always Mr Go Go Go!
I am saying its a To Wong Foo kind of weekend because when I get stressed, feel depressed, or just blah I throw on that movie. It is total gay camp, I know, but it makes me laugh. It's sort of a ritual for me. I hole myself up in my room, put the movie on, and just veg out. That's what I am doing right now while I am writing.
I am not so sure what I am stressing about, or feeling bad about. I guess it was just a combination of the day. I miss David, even though I will see him on Tuesday. I guess its having to leave feeling so good and returning to stressful world at home. Sometimes Dan and I drive each other crazy. He is very type A and I am very not. We feed off from each other's bad moods, and I think we just escalate each others annoyance factor sometimes. After seven years of living together we have learned to just let it be. I have to give him credit for being supportive during this whole transition period for me and during my time off on leave.
David and I have our moments too, but usually its over me worrying about him. We get mad but we make up quickly. It's hard for me to stay mad at him for any length of time because he is so damned sweet most of the time. A flash of the hazel eyes and a warm hug and its all better.
David worries because of the age difference. He is 52 and I am 38. I can see his concern for me but I keep trying to assure him that I am not going to want to stop hanging out even when he gets older. I know something good when I see it and I would be an idiot to walk out on that. He is a good person and a very loving person. Sometimes I think that we are just both paranoid about getting hurt. It seems so silly since we both obviously care a whole bunch about each other.
I have a lot of friends who have been in my life for a very long time. My friend Helen has been around for 20 years and we still are very close. Age means nothing to me. Helen is in her late 50's (sorry Helen...I didn't mean to give your age away...LOL) and we get along very well. My friend Alan is 51 and the same goes for him. They both know that I will always be their friends and that there is nothing that I wouldn't do for them if they asked. The same goes for David. Our situation goes way deeper than just a friendship, but that should make it even stronger. I care, and I will always be here for him. It just who I am. I don't take any relationship lightly, be it a friendship or a romantic relationship. I just wish that he would trust me and not worry so much about the age thing. We have known each other for six months now and they have been a great six months!
Sigh....I hope that the week is uneventful. I start my new job this week. The weather is improving and its supposed to be almost 60 degrees by the weekend so that is a big positive. We will see what unfolds.
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