Like many of you, I was shocked Monday night when, on RuPaul's Drag Race, Ru announced that one of the contestants, Willam Belli, had broken the rules and was being disqualified from the competition. (That's right. I love TV. Deal with it.)
Oddly enough, I had scheduled an interview with Willam last week, before the bomb dropped, for a second installment of my HuffPost blog "Queer Celebrities Need Love, Too," but after watching the show I decided to throw out all those questions.
My chat with Willam from yesterday (the day after all the drama) is below.
Hey, Willam. Tough night, huh? What happened, girl?
Well, I checked the Internet to find out why I was disqualified, and this is what my NancyDruPaul skills could come up with:
- I was on heroin, and that's how I was able to be so calm when Phi Phi yelled at me.
- I went out drinking the night before, and that's why I vomited onstage.
- My favorite reason: I was on hormones to become a woman, and they found out during the lie-detector test -- 'cause you can obviously see how delicate I've become, with all my soft features and this friggin' man jaw.
- I apparently slept with Pit Crew Jason, because he's in my new "Chow Down (at Chick-fil-A)" video.
- I enjoyed the Internet, or went shopping, or had sex with cast or crew.
Well, I was the one who admitted to the producers without prodding that I broke rules -- multiple times, in fact. I wasn't caught doing anything. One of the days just happened to be on a duet challenge, so I knew that it would be a going-down-in-a-blaze-of-glory moment should they choose to act on it (and they did). I'm glad they let me sing, though, because Latrice and I were the best, and her being partnerless in a duets challenge would've been weird. How about this: I'll tell the world exactly what I did when I win the NewNowNext Award for Most Addictive Reality Star. I'll announce it right up onstage. So go vote, or else the world may never know (cue ominous music).
Deal! Honesty is a pain in the ass sometimes. Good work, though. Better to out yourself than be outed. I do love a drag queen who can plug, as well. Speaking of drag queens, had you not been eliminated, who would your biggest competition have been for that final spot?
Riiight. Well, who are you rooting for now?
Michelle Visage (#hausofvisage).
Way to plead the fifth creatively, love. How are people taking the news so far? I'm sure you're getting blasted with questions.
The news is good! But it is nice to know my solo works got almost as much attention as my disqualification just 24 hours before. "Chow Down (at Chick-fil-A)" was posted by HuffPost and lots of other mainstream media outlets, based on the fact that it's a current issue and it's truly a protest song. Granted, it's not like some "we shall overcome" shit, but it does have a message that I think is lacking in my generation of gays, about speaking up more, activism, and volunteer efforts. I do not need a 90-year-old Baptist billionaire judging who I get with when his spicy chicken sandwich gave me the bubble guts for two days.
Yeah, down with Church of Christ mall chicken! I couldn't agree with you more about wanting our generation of queers to rise up and make the world a better place. Thank you for messaging that out! Overall, are you glad you decided to do the show?
Yes. Of Course.
That's good to hear! I'm glad you did the show, too. We were rooting for you at my house. What are you up to now?
I'm working on a video with Chi Chi LaRue for "Trouble," my dance single, and prepping to shoot a film all about the '90s porn scene, Joey Stefano, and Chi Chi LaRue in Los Angeles. The writer, Chad Darnell, is in the process of securing funding now, and I'll be playing porn legend Geoffrey Karen Dior, with Missi Pyle (recently seen in The Artist) as Sharon Kane. I'm also appearing in Neighborhood Watch this summer, opposite Ben Stiller and Billy Crudrup, July 27.
I love Chi Chi! Condragulations! Sounds busy! If you could change one thing about your time competing, what would it be?
I would have liked a stand-up comedy challenge.
Who was your favorite judge, dear?
I can't pick one. Kelly for telling me to "fuck off" because of my body, and Pauley Perrette for co-signing the accolades. BillyB and Santino for their candor. Cassandra Peterson and Pam for even bringing their iconography into the same room as us. Ross Matthews and Loretta were everything. Loretta dished on her understudy for Dreamgirls back in the day on a break, and it's not printable, but she's hilarious. RuPaul is, of course, my fave if it came down to it. Michelle was a tough critic, but it always was clear it was coming from the right place. She's the biggest supporter of all queens.
I think you are hilarious, and I wish you all the best, Willam. Anything you'd like to leave us with?
"Trouble," my dance single, is now available on iTunes, along with "Chow Down (at Chick-fil-A)" and "The Vagina Song." You know, it's weird. I played hookers on television shows for all those years, and now I'm pimping myself. Lateral move, much?
Well played, queen. Well played.