I sat down to meditate tonight and put on a CD that I had downloaded a while back. The CD is just ambient noise that was recorded. Sounds of rain and water dripping from leaves in a forest. What a peaceful sound. I miss the sounds of rain and the fresh smell of summer and the dampness of the forest that surrounds most of the camp that I go to in the summer. Rain has such a peaceful and comforting sound.
This winter has been a long one for me. Long and tedious and dreary with what seems like unending amounts of snow and thick gray clouds that have blocked out the sun for months now. I am ready for a change. I am ready for spring and ready to move on....
After much though and agonizing over every potential outcome, and if you know me well you will know what I mean by that, I have decided to take another job. I told my supervisor at work today and will make the general announcement at work tomorrow. This was not an easy decision, because I genuinely do enjoy working with most of my coworkers. I have grown close to a lot of them and I will miss them. I am fortunate to have a very supportive boss who understands my need to move on.
Part of me is sad to leave my friends behind, part of me is a little scared to go out on a limb and take such a risk, and part of me is happy to be finally doing something different after ten years. Its a big step for me. So much has happened this year and so much has changed for me. Some good stuff, some not so good stuff, but still changes. As Buddhism teaches, life is in a constant state of change, and when we learn to accept that we will start to find happiness. I believe that this is true. Without external change there can be no change within. Without change we cannot grow as individuals. Although I am a bit anxious about what the future may hold, it still makes me excited to move forward. Maybe its a big mistake, or maybe its the best decision that I can make. I will not know that until things progress, but I cannot sit static any longer. It's all part of the journey, my journey. Its time for spring....time for a change.