31.1.11

Moving On....

It is said that the Buddha was enlightened while sitting under a bodhi tree in the Indian forest. For those of you who don't know what a bodhi tree is, you can see the base of one in the picture above.  Its a massive tree, with giant roots that twist down its trunk and root deep into the ground.  I cant think of any other place better to be than under a great, bright green bodhi tree in the middle of the forest with the soft, cool summer breeze touching my skin and the earthy smell of the damp forest floor engulfing my senses and clearing my mind. The sounds of the wind and rustling leaves, birds chirping, and insects buzzing past all blending into some sort uniform melody. Sitting amongst the massive roots of the great bodhi tree, its roots grounding me to the earth, reminding me of my ties to the past.  The same earth that has seen millions of years pass reminding me that my life is just a split second in time in the grand scheme of things. What a powerful image. 

I sat down to meditate tonight and put on a CD that I had downloaded a while back.  The CD is just ambient noise that was recorded.  Sounds of rain and water dripping from leaves in a forest.  What a peaceful sound.  I miss the sounds of rain and the fresh smell of summer and the dampness of the forest that surrounds most of the camp that I go to in the summer.  Rain has such a peaceful and comforting sound.

This winter has been a long one for me.  Long and tedious and dreary with what seems like unending amounts of snow and thick gray clouds that have blocked out the sun for months now.  I am ready for a change.  I am ready for spring and ready to move on....

After much though and agonizing over every potential outcome, and if you know me well you will know what I mean by that, I have decided to take another job.  I told my supervisor at work today and will make the general announcement at work tomorrow.  This was not an easy decision, because I genuinely do enjoy working with most of my coworkers.  I have grown close to a lot of them and I will miss them.  I am fortunate to have a very supportive boss who understands my need to move on.

Part of me is sad to leave my friends behind, part of me is a little scared to go out on a limb and take such a risk, and part of me is happy to be finally doing something different after ten years.  Its a big step for me.  So much has happened this year and so much has changed for me.  Some good stuff, some not so good stuff, but still changes.  As Buddhism teaches, life is in a constant state of change, and when we learn to accept that we will start to find happiness.  I believe that this is true.  Without external change there can be no change within. Without change we cannot grow as individuals.  Although I am a bit anxious about what the future may hold, it still makes me excited to move forward.  Maybe its a big mistake, or maybe its the best decision that I can make.  I will not know that until things progress, but I cannot sit static any longer. It's all part of the journey, my journey.  Its time for spring....time for a change. 




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