The Past is the Past and Cannot be Rewritten.....
I decieded to get out of the house today and take the new laptop to Crazy Mocha, in Shadyside and take advantage of their free wireless.....and to also slog down a few coffee drinks and a biscotti. David met me for coffee on his walk home after work. As always, it was great to see him. We have been spending lots of time togeather and I love it and I think that we are both becoming more comfortable with each other. I am VERY happy about that and much less stressed in general.
With going back to work looming ahead I am working to keep myself at a low stress level. I am going to try to approach things a little differently this time. Let's just hope that it works.
Some recent events have come up...post holiday stuff. Without going into great detail, lets just say that it has to do with past family issues. I feel like I am always being held accountable for all the stuff that happened in the past and quite frankly, I want to forget about what happened in the past. For a large percentage of it, I had absolutley no choice in the matter yet I always seem to be dealing with it. I am always feeling like I am supposed to go back somehow and make everything ok and re-write myself out of it. Its, unfortunalty not that easy. I know that you cant run from problems, but these are issues that I have no control over and reliving the pain over and over and over again is senseless.
Part of my recent therapy dealt with past family issues and the goal was to try to figure out what would put me at peace with things. I have decided that what would put me at peace is to live my life and not worry about what other people did in the past. I have my own life now, in Pittsburgh, and what I have made of my life IS what I have control over....I don't have control over other people's issues!
Posted by Michael Bell at 5:23 PM